Lord Of the Swamp Things

Of Donald Trump the thought will someday occur, ‘why did anyone ever like this guy in the first place?’

Donald: a blow-dried frog, a kind of creature that appeared one night in his mother’s fallopian tube and then crawled out of that dark hole on all fours, starved from the very beginning for tadpoles and other swampy organisms, pretty much anything and everything his slimy little tongue could lay waste to, already a mother’s boy.

Rises meteorlogcially from a rare gaseous atmospheric warming harmful to other humans but one in which Donald thrives, mentored by Roy Cohn, calling New York City gossip columnists sotto voce to make sure his name gets in the tabloids, passing on Andy Warhol paintings he could have bought at the time for a song, stupid as a snake, always first and foremost a blow-dried frog.

And now the frog is President, not once but twice! And so many of us have to live our lives near this greasy, slimy creature that’s risen from the swamp posing as a human being. In the end nobody will end up liking this frog, blow-dried, crawling toward extinction.

Not a Frog but a Common Snail, recently sighted on a trail in Oregon. Photo by author, May 15, 2025.